No…I swear (fingers crossed behind my back)…I am not self-obsessed about this whole aging process.  But I forgot to mention one little thing….

wait for it…..

Skin Tags

I’ll wager my life’s’ savings that my skin was as clean as a whistle in that department before moving to this here middle earth. I’ll swear there is a direct correlation!  I discovered not one but three of these pesky little um….blemishes…. some months back.  “Looky here…what’s this,” I ask hubby as I examine myself in the mirror after a shower.  “Ah…looks like it’s just a skin tag.”  “Just a skin tag?” I say as I rub it vigorously with the towel hoping it will slough right off.  No such luck.    Off to the computer I go with the towel wrapped around my still dripping wet body.  I Goggle said subject matter.

Like a fool I click on the Wikipedia link …

Acrochordon…..you’re kidding me….It sounds like some prehistoric animal….

…..is a small benign tumor…..

Oh for the love of God…I don’t want to know any more!  OK…so this isn’t a dire health concern…just a cosmetic one (SAME THING).  I leave that page and search for remedies.  “Ah…here’s one…perfect…and I can get it at the local drug store.”  Later on in the day I’ve got my little bottle of Tag Away in hand.  It’s touted as a natural way to remove skin tags and its active ingredient is Thuja Occidentalis which is Thuja tag awayTree oil.  Says used as directed can get rid of skin tags in as little as three days.  I gave up after nearly three months.  Didn’t do a thing for me except make me smell strongly like tea tree oil.  I even thought about tying a string around the tag like a kid pulling out a loose tooth.  I quickly abandoned that idea, the chicken that I am.  I’ve got a visit to the dermatologist scheduled for next month.  I’m sure he can take care of these along with all the keratoses on my arms, hands, and nose.  He’s got his work cut out with me that’s for sure.  Oh why couldn’t I have inherited my mother’s Italian olive skin? !

Yes the magnifying mirror of late is proving to be my daily enemy.  Everything is bigger as I get older and I don’t need a mirror to tell me that.    My nose looks bigger, the ears look bigger, the pores around my nose–you guessed it…bigger.  Just about everything, including my butt… is bigger!  Is there anything that gets smaller as we age?   Ah yes…. that would be THE BRAIN I say as I turn the house upside-down in search of my iPhone ear buds.  Where in the hell did I put them…..?

I am not aging gracefully….

not yet anyway.