I am getting old.
How do I know? (I am just positive you’re asking!).
I just cancelled my spot in a group exercise class today.
I could post it on Facebook, adding my status there, along with the gazillion other banal status updates that people post–you know….the ones that cause readers to roll their eyes towards the heavens and mutter something like “Who cares” except it probably contains an expletive…or two.
I am well aware that this is not earth-shattering news; and, I’m absolutely sure that no one cares a whit. But for me, skipping out on daily exercise almost never happens!
Full disclosure: this is not the first time in the last couple of months I’ve been lazy, which is why I am mighty perplexed with myself. After all, I did Jazzercise (Aerobics) classes up to a week before my daughter was born. I ran a 50-mile race, after falling during the treacherous trail portion, on a swollen knee and without eating anything during the ten-plus hours it took me to complete the race. I’ve run in 19-degree weather, through ice, sleet, and snow. I was nearly forcefully restrained by two grown men trying to prevent me from continuing a cycle ride while cycling in the Canadian Rockies (I had no idea that I was completely blue and dangerously close to Stage 2 hypothermia). It took passing out from heat exhaustion, literally near the bottom of the Grand Canyon, to get me to stop and rest my body. I woke to water being thrown on my face at the hands of one of my dearest friends. My reward to him for “saving me?” Shamefully, I yelled at him. “No, No…not our water! We need the water.” It was June people! I was clearly delirious from heat exhaustion. We were in the bottom of the Grand Canyon and, as God is my witness, it had to have been hotter than Hell itself…in fact, I believe He, God himself, told me so while I was close to seeing THE white light!
All kidding aside…the point is….I am not predisposed to “giving up” when it comes to physical activity. I muscle through…onward and up. I’m not bragging, mind you. Many folks think (and they have voiced as much) that I’m nuts. Truthfully, sometimes I’ll admit to over-doing it…but just a wee bit. And yet, looking back on the last thirty years of my life I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. Through all these years of many physical trials I’ve learned a great deal about myself and I’ve discovered what I am made of…not just physically…but more importantly, mentally as well.
Except now…or more specifically, during the last year. The physical and mental toughness that has been part of my identity, is waning….considerably… and I am not too pleased about this turn of events. I‘m not sure if my malady is owed to a mild form of depression because of failing knees (and chronic pain) or a result from moving from the paradise of Southern California to insect-infested “middle earth” Alabama. It also could be that I’ve got too much time on my hands now that I am not gainfully employed!
Still….whatever it is….
I skipped an exercise class because it is 15 degrees outside with a windchill of 2-degrees and there is a whisper of snow flurries on the ground.
For a moment after I called to cancel, I felt pathetic. Why am I letting cold–OK, FRIGID–temperatures and a dusting of snow affect my psyche? I’ve pushed myself through far worst weather days and through days when every free moment was a precious commodity (while working full-time and taking college courses or looking after children and a myriad of household chores). And yet, today…as I looked out the window at the dusting of snow all I wanted to do was curl up on the sofa with a book and a cup of tea and call it a day….at 9 o’clock in the morning!
My brain…or the “central governor” as Dr. Tim Noakes terms in his book, The Lore of Running, is growing mushy and weak-minded. Quite simply, at the risk of offending anyone, I’m perilously close to becoming an old fogey.
There is no bliss in that.
OK. I need to get my head out of this old-fogey brain and smile (which is the whole point of this blog, right?!) because I am starting to look like an old fogey too! That makes sense….think old…feel old!
Tomorrow is another day. Let’s hope for a ray or two of sunshine and with it, a flip of the switch in this old-fogey brain. I’ll take comfort in a quote that I happened upon while reading an on-line article today:
Lord knows, I’ve got many imperfections…too many to count. So in that spirit….the explanation of today’s lethargy is simply because it was a FRIGIDLY cold day and smart folks stay inside and cuddle with poodles…significant others, or in the absence of either… a good book and a very good glass of red wine.