Posted on June 21, 2014
Seven more days….
Then I’ll be on my way out of the Sonoran desert. That’s the plan anyway and baring any unforeseen calamities, I’m sticking to it. By the time I step across the threshold of my front door in “middle earth” it will have been 108 days since my departure. I left when the temperatures were still in the low 30’s at night and I’ll be returning to the heat and unbearable humidity of the South. I’m so looking forward to waking up with Rocket-man at my side and slobber-filled kisses from my poodle!
Before I see my home-sweet-home I’ll be taking a slight detour to our nations Capitol in order to attend my bro-in-law’s retirement ceremony from the U.S. Air Force. I’m thrilled to be able to be a part of this fine man’s day and to see my sis and Alexandre-the-Greatest after months of sadness, negativity, and countless emotional outbursts; it’s time to lift this shroud of gloom and have some fun! But, strangely enough through this whole tumultuous ordeal—which, I should mention, has yet to satisfactorily settle–I know already that I will board the plane with reluctance in my heart.
I’m going to miss most the beautiful Sonoran sunrises and sunsets. My iPhone photos certainly don’t capture the full beauty, nor the spiritual essence, of each evening’s colorful homage to the end of another Carefree day. I’ll miss the ever-interesting saguaro landscape where no two saguaro’s are alike….and I’m going to miss the early morning walks through a desert filled with both the beautiful and the strange…Oh, and yes …some very frightening creatures!
And yes, I am even going to miss the moments of serenity with my mother, the ones that occurred in the pool or while watching Italian films on Netflix. True, there were only a few truly joyful moments…and sometimes they entailed laughter… but they were very lovely and I’m grateful that there were any at all during this terrible family crisis.
I’ll return to this Sonoran paradise. That is for certain. Mom will eventually need to be moved to her new abode once we can seal deals, cross T’s and dot I’s. None of these things have been accomplished yet, but things are defintely in motion and I am hopeful that before the end of this hot Carefree summer that mom will be in a place that will be perfect for her next chapter. I’m praying everyday that this will happen because as difficult as mom has always been, I truly want her to be happy. I have tried over and over again–in countless ways– throughout these last three months to press home the concept that there is still more living to do! My sis has done the same via daily telephone calls, sometimes two or three times a day.
“Until your last breath mamma….you can learn, you can love, and you can experience joy,” I tell her. “It’s all in your hands mamma…just like it is for all of us.”