Autumn Leaves and Letting Go….

I love leaves….until they wind up in the house.

It’s a beautiful morning in the neighborhood. I love hearing the crunch of autumn leaves beneath my feet as I walk The Poodle. He is lagging behind until he sees his best four-legged buddy, Miss Nica.  They cavort for a few minutes before I head home to a list of things to do.  I look at the mountain of laundry and decide that IS NOT on the list for the day!  Let’s try tackling one of my love-hate things instead.

So yeah….I’ve got several love-hate relationships going on.

I suspect I am not alone in this.

Today’s ire is about one in particular.  Trees.  Well…specifically, their leaves.

I suppose you know where I am going with this.

Yes, it’s that time of year…raking season.

It wouldn’t be so bad if my front doorstep wasn’t a constant vortex of leaves. I’ve never had to deal with so many leaves piling up on my front porch!  It is supremely annoying as a good many of them wind up INSIDE the house thanks to my four-legged love. The Poodle may as well be 33 pounds of Velcro; leaves attach to ears, legs, tail and torso, as well as to the top of his handsome little head.  I find leaves in the most unlikely places in my house.  Sigh.

I actually don’t mind raking leaves. The “love” part of this relationship is physical activity. I love being outdoors.  Yesterday I spent several hours out with the rake, making it my workout of the day. Alternating between using a leaf-blower and the rake I bagged six large paper leaf bags to the gills and hauled out of the yard more than a dozen heavy branches that had fallen from the trees during a particularly blustery night. As I raked under a beautiful blue sky and a happy mid-morning sun, I listened to a Spotify playlist of piano and cello pieces. Usually for this kind of workout I’d be jamming to something decidedly more contemporary and upbeat but I was in a contemplative mood. The soulful music made the task before me almost meditative.

I was lost in the leaves when a rendition of Schubert’s Ave Maria began playing.

I stopped raking.

My mother so loved this piece.

I let my gaze drift up towards the beautiful blue sky. White puffs of clouds drifted in languid fashion as a flock of birds in their neat V-formation headed southward.

Before I knew it I was crying, right there in the middle of the front yard. Nothing dramatic mind you.

Images of mom as she lay dying in the hospital bed were stunningly vivid…again.

And, as she took her last breath sis and I were holding her and saying The Ave Maria….

Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee;
blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.



Wow, that came out of nowhere!

A torrent of emotions once again…

The good, bad and the ugly.


For a split second darkness filled the space around me. Ah, it’s nothing but a cloud passing overhead, blocking the sun. It’s over in a flash. A sudden breeze kicks up the leaves that I had raked into a large pile before me.

The leaves are calling my name:  Cristina, we have let go…you can too.

Life is the moment we are living right now (Paulo Coelho). I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.  Exhaling long and slow, I open my eyes.  So…. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

I pick up the rake and begin anew but not before turning off the music and calling a good friend to catch up.  It’s good to hear her voice as I continue bagging leaves.  It makes the time fly.

Later I recounted the episode with my sis.

“They say time heals all wounds,” she began. “But I don’t feel that is ever going to happen for us.”

Sis, you may be right but let’s fight tooth and nail to keep our hearts happy and souls reasonably at peace. Let us find something to laugh about every single day.

So, the “hate” part of this tree relationship?

I’ve got to do this blowing and raking thing all over again for weeks to come.
Excuse me while I go in search of Tylenol…..

2 thoughts on “Autumn Leaves and Letting Go….

  1. Having nearly lost my own mom two years ago, I think I have some idea of the emotions triggered by that musical piece. Couldn’t comprehend her possible absence then and still can’t wrap my head around the fact she will pass at some point now. Then again, there’s nothing quite like a yard full of leaves or other obligations to shake up the mind and move the heart. Once you’ve figured out how to keep bits and bobs off poodle coats, please share the solution with me. I swear…🍂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For a nano second I thought of using the leaf blower to get those “bits and bobs” off my boy. BTW…The Poodle is officially nine-years-old today. He’s curled up in my…um…I mean HIS, favorite chair as a chilly rain keeps him mostly indoors today. Have a lovely Sunday.


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